It's A Maul World After All
by Rubidia
Summary: With the children from It's A Small World running amuck, can Ezra and Emily set everything straight before the little monsters...eat everything!
1. Small World

**A/N: Here's a new little fic that I came up with in a surge of inspiration. Used a different view than usual. In this, I have the haunted mansion actually a ride in Disney World, not just the Haunted Mansion. Enjoy, everyone, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney.**

Ezra plopped himself down onto the bench seat of a boat in Small World. He needed a break from the mansion, so had decided to get his head drilled with multi-cultural children singing a mildly irritating ditty in several different languages, over, and over, and over, and over…He found it strangely comforting.

Phineus wouldn't get off his back lately. Wanted him to take some therapy or something. Like he was going to waste his valuable time talking to a puppet called 'Mr. Calm Down'. He could be using that time to sketch a giant cube of jello with a bunch of little stick figures suspended inside it. Important stuff, you know? So he decided to take a break and explore the park.

He had made his way to the Small World ride, and chose to take a nice little ride around the globe. He cackled at the Swiss yodeler, and gawked at the little can-can dancers. As he exited the ride, he began to make his way back to the mansion, when he heard a familiar voice through the crowd, humming breathily.

Turning around and scanning the mob of people milling about, he spotted Emily, the young dead bride from his very own mansion swirling around near the ride exit.

"Emily!" he called. She didn't respond. Impatient, he approached the young woman. "Emily!" he said when he was about two feet from her. She still showed no response. "EMILY!!!" she finally turned to face him.

"Oh, hello, Ezra," she sighed, "What are you doing here?" she asked, twirling her hair on her finger.

"Me? I'm just taking a break. What about you?" he replied.

"What about me?" she asked, staring dazedly over Ezra's shoulder. He followed her gaze, but saw nothing.

"Why are you here?" he asked through gritted teeth. So this was how Phineus felt all the time.

"Oh, well I just came to watch the adorable little children sing their adorable little song! _It's a small world after all, it's a small world-_"

"Okay! Well, are you heading back to the mansion now?" he asked, extending his hand in way that made him seem oddly like a gentleman.

"Oh, I was planning on petting a camel first…"

"Camel?" he asked. He had seen no camels here today. Except for maybe those big statues of camels outside of the Magic Carpet ride, the ones that spit water on you…

"You know, the big ones outside the Magic Carpet ride that spit on you!"

"Those are statues. Now, come on, or George'll freak." he took her arm and began to drag her back towards Liberty Square, when there came a scream from inside Small World. They spun around to see a mob of people running from the exit.

Ezra turned to Emily. She busy waving to a little sobbing boy who was clinging to his mother's hand, crying even harder at the sight of the wild, tangled hair of the dead bride. Sighing, he dragged her back into the ride to see what all the commotion was.

Inside the ride was deserted. And when they reached the Queue, they saw why. All of the children were running amuck, chewing on things, clawing at guests, screaming like banshees. It's A Small World had gone evil.


	2. Yak

**A/N: Chapter 2! Everyone enjoy, enjoy…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney.**

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! Evil children! Ew, ew, EW! Get them off of me! GET THEM OFF OF ME!!!!!" Ezra screamed in terror, clambering atop a cartoonish, silver turret as a little Polynesian girl tried to gnaw on his ankle. Emily giggled, petting the child on the top of the head. The kid started to purr. "I'm getting out of here!" Ezra cried, starting to float back to the mansion, but Emily grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Look at the cute little kitty!" she said, giggling. "Aww, she's purring!" Ezra gave a terrified squeal.

"Let me go! Let me go, let me go, let me GO!!!!!!" He screamed, struggling to get free, but Emily held him tight.

"Pet the kitty," she ordered. "Now."

"B-but I don't want to pet the kitty!" he whimpered. Reeling him in, she brandished the child in his face wildly. Finally, giving in, he apprehensively gave the kid a little pat on the head, then drew his hand back as if it were diseased. "I miss the sheep," he grumbled.

A little Swedish boy ran up to them, announcing that his name was Tom, then ran away again.

"Well, goodbye, Tom!" Emily called, waving. Ezra rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to find the mouse," he groused.

"Oh, but won't the kitties eat him?" Emily inquired with concern. Ezra gave her a smack on the head. She looked around wildly for a few moments, shook her head, then started to yak…for lack of a better word.

Ezra stared at her.

"Emily, why on earth are you acting like a yak?" she yakked at him again. "Erg, everything has turned to madness!" he cried in frustration. He stomped off to find Mickey, hoping that maybe he could sort things out a bit.


	3. By Spearpoint

**A/N: I've got some big plans for this fic…muahahaha…Oh, and I'd like to recognize the inspiration for the character Tom, he's actually based off a friend of mine, whose name is indeed Tom, but Tom is not, in fact, Swedish. Or a doll in a mildly irritating yet oh-so-awesome Disney World ride. Just to clarify.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney.**

The great mouse was nowhere to be found. Ezra screamed in irritation.

"Why is this happening to me?!!" he cried. In his minds eye, he imagined Phineus chuckling at him amusedly. "Shut up, Phineus!" he shouted, receiving stares from several guests who hurried away from him. He stomped back over to Small World, where he hoped that everything would already be sorted out.

No such luck. At least Emily appeared to have gone back to normal…if that's what you want to call how she usually acted. She waltzed up to Ezra when she saw him approach.

"Oh, Ezra!" she sang, "You should see all the kitties! They like me!" Ezra ignored her. "Ezra! Did you hear me? I said the kitties like me!"

"That's nice," he muttered, then walked away as quickly as possible, heading into the ride. "Gasp! It's you!" he cried as a little Swedish boy ran up to him, brandishing a blowtorch. Indeed, the little boy was none other than Tom, whom Ezra had met only minutes before.

"Ahaha!" Tom shrieked, pouncing upon the ghost.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ezra screamed.

"I've got you!" he cried, "Now, you are in my clutches!"

"What, you're kidnapping me?" Ezra asked. Tom nodded wildly. "Well, _kid_napping doesn't seem quite appropriate," he said, snickering. Tom growled, prodding him with the torch.

"I shall now lead you on spear point to my lair!" he cried.

"But, that's a blowtorch! You can't lead me by the point if a spear with a torch!"

"It's a spear! SPEAR! This is pointy! Torches aren't pointy! Are you BLIND?!!" the little Swedish boy screeched.

"Okay, okay, _spear_. Take me to your lair. But, mark my words, you shall not succeed with this evil plot of yours, whatever it is, I'm sure you'll reveal it to me soon enough in an appropriately menacing monologue. Emily will save me!"

Emily chose that moment to run in and start yakking again.

"Yes, I'm sure she will," said Tom mockingly.

"Emily!" Ezra shouted, "Emily, I'm being kidnapped by Tom!"

"Oh, congratulations!" she cried back, "Have fun!" This was hopeless.


	4. Munchkins of the Carribean

**A/N: I've returned with another update! Sorry for the delays…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney. **

Ezra found, to his surprise, that the lair was not located inside the ride. They started climbing through an extensive tunnel system beginning in the little cartoon hot air balloon, and somehow ending in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

"How did we get here?" Ezra asked. Emily would never be smart enough to find this place!

All of a sudden, Emily waltzed in, singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star loudly. Someone needed to eat her as soon as she rescued him. Darn it, here comes the crazy! Sometimes he found it hard to contain, and it came in great spurts that spewed all over anyone within a three mile radius.

"Why, hello, Oswald!" she cried, waving in a cutesy way at him. He growled. She had called him Oswald. That was a stupid name for a hitchhiker. Especially for a dead one.

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!" Tom cried, and the other dolls took up a battle cry as both Ezra and Emily were tied to the mast of a pirate ship and a mob of rowdy scallywags flooded the scene and joined in the screams.

"PHINEUS!!!!!" Ezra screamed, desperate to get away from the little munchkins. Gus was enough to deal with everyday.

Out of nowhere, Phineus and Gus themselves came floating along in a rode boat. Phineus looked shocked to see Ezra and Emily tied to a mast surrounded by ruffians and dolls who were slowly descending upon the two with torches and, oddly enough, tiny plastic alligators.

"What are you doing?" Phineus asked in an incredulous tone.

"I've been kidnapped by tiny little demon dolls!" Ezra replied.

"Oh." he said.

"Can you help?" asked Ezra. Phineus sighed. It was his day off!

"Fine," he said grudgingly. He floated up to the boat. Instantly he was swarmed by hundreds of little ethnic dolls bearing pitchforks and puppets, with a few pirates in the mix, too.

Ezra turned to Emily with excitement that they were being rescued, but found that she was gone. He looked around wildly for her, and finally spotted her. She was off chatting with a pirate in front of a burning building while he nonchalantly was taking some of her wedding jewelry. He sighed, and floated free of the ropes to go and stop her before they had pilfered her to a puddle of ectoplasm.


	5. Choir

**A/N: All done! Wow, this one was really short…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Disney!**

"GET BACK HERE!" Tom screeched from his perch on the poop deck. Ezra giggled. _Poop_ deck. Phineus groaned, as he was well aware of what Ezra found so amusing.

"Okey-dokey!" he cried. Now that Phineus was here, there was no need for him to cling to any scraps of sanity that were left floating around his head, and he allowed them all to flutter away in the briny breeze of the bleached Disney water ride water.

"Now, _Ezra_, it is time for my revenge!" the doll yelled.

"But what did Ezra do to _you_?" Phineus asked, desperate to save his friend. He had already paid for a few therapy sessions in advance, and wasn't about to let those couple hundred bucks go to waste! He had rightfully conned them out of a naïve family of tourists bearing cameras on their necks and Mickey ears on their heads!

"What did Ezra do to _me_? To _me_?!!!" Tom screamed, "Well, why don't you ask him…about that day in community choir, all those years ago!"

Ezra gasped. Everyone else busted out in hysterical laughter. Ezra had taken community choir?!!

"Ezra?" Ezra asked. Everyone looked confused. Why was he calling Tom Ezra? "Is that really you?"

"Yes, it's me! Why don't you tell all of your little buddies how you know me!"

"Okay! Well, you see, we were in choir, and, Ezra's such a common name, I wanted to be the only one! I didn't mean to actually kill him! I didn't know he'd fall through!"

"Fall through what?" Phineus asked warily.

"…Nothing…" Ezra said nervously.

"It was a MILKSHAKE!!!!" Tom screamed.

"What?" Phineus asked.

"I'm not sure about that, I don't remember any milkshakes…" Ezra said, scratching his head.

"Anyways," Tom said, taking up the story, "He killed me. I was reincarnated in the form of this stupid Swedish doll, forced to sing that dumb song, over, and over, and over, and over…_It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world! It's a world of laughter, a world of tears_-" Gus whacked the doll in the head to bring him back to the present.

"Anyways, I finally heard about dear old Ezra in the Haunted Mansion ride. I decided to get my revenge, as soon as I could! I set to work immediately, transforming all of the brainwashed minds of the dolls into my evil minions! Ahahaha! So, when you came along in that little boat, I sent out the signal, and now we are going to feast upon your baked and lightly salted carcass! AHAHA!"

"But I'm already dead," Ezra pointed out. Tom growled.

"Fine," he said through gritted teeth, "We shall _metaphorically_ feast upon your baked and lightly salted carcass! Ahahaha! And we shall put your spirit in a large tank and poke the glass, all day long! With SPEARS!!!!" The doll collapsed into hysterical laughter.

Then, suddenly, great flames erupted around the little animatronic figure, and he slowly melted into a puddle of charred goo.

All of the other dolls stared at it, then finally shrugged and, erupting in another battle cry, ran back to the secret tunnel. The pirates looked disappointed and returned to their plundering.

"That was odd," Phineus said.

"I agree," said Ezra. Phineus looked shocked.

"You do?" he asked incredulously. Maybe Ezra didn't need quite as much therapy as he had thought.


End file.
